Get Your 15 Minutes of Fame! Work Those Security Cameras
By: Nahshon Roberts
The security cameras at the local bank, at the street intersection, at the casino, at the school grounds, at the modeling agency, and at the mall can be your most valuable friend in the search for fame. Never mind if your kind of fame is a flash in the pan, at least you had a taste of fame. Or of infamy, if that is what you want. Most people have neither of those and continue living their humdrum lives.
Be the Hero or be the Villain
Remember the security cameras at your neighborhood bank? You can actually use those cameras and their operators as instant camera crew in your very own reality show; you save on capital and personnel costs at the same time!
If you want to become the hero, you should:
Walk in on a bank heist, preferably a few minutes before it starts. To do this, you must be connected to shady characters of the underworld who can tell you what bank will be hit next by the likes of Bonnie and Clyde.
Look for the security cameras and be sure that these capture your heroics in your best angle. Therefore, never tackle bank robbers when they have fired off the surveillance cameras. Wait when television cameras are in full view before doing the karate chops and making yourself a human shield.
If you want to become the villain and get away with the money, you must:
Plan the bank heist carefully so as to ensure that your misdeed will be the talk of federal investigators for years and years to come.
Hire the best plastic surgeon in town to alter your physical appearance so completely that even if you made faces at the security cameras, you will have disappeared from the face of the earth for all intents and purposes.
Go abroad, preferably a country with no extradition treaty with the United States. And keep a low profile please. You had your 15 minutes of fame already.
Be the Epitome of Grace or Be the King of Clowns
Remember the security cameras at the modeling agency you have been applying to and yet your application keeps getting to the back burner for reasons unknown to you? Well, you can reverse that by:
Sashaying up and down those surveillance cameras. In due time, security personnel and the talent scouts will take notice of you. Pray that they will notice how graceful you walk, not how crazy you look parading for no apparent reason.
Appealing to the head of the agency, who you will never meet without drastic measures, in front of the surveillance cameras. At the very least, you will have practice emoting and miming in front of lots of people and cameras, which could be good for your acting career!
If you have security cameras at home and you are prone to funny mishaps, harness the power of the Youtube to become famous! You should:
Strategically place the cameras in places where you are historically the clumsiest the pool, the kitchen, or the garage. Stay away from the light, er, the bedroom though.
Post as many of your videos as you can. One of them is bound to get 7 million hits in four months and you will be famous! At least among Netizens; this is a good enough gauge of fame.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you become famous with security cameras as accomplices. Those and a lot of guts!
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